


Somebody Near Me

by RussianYeti



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Asgard, King Thor (Marvel), M/M, My First Fanfic, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Slow Burn, Theatre, Theatre Gay Loki, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-26 18:27:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15668784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RussianYeti/pseuds/RussianYeti
Summary: It's hard to be lonely in places like these, but Loki manages to nonetheless.Inspired by Mitski's song "Nobody."





	Somebody Near Me

**Author's Note:**

> So, I have posted this one before, and I was very surprised at the amount of positive feedback that I received. It made me want to improve the writing that I had already done and add more to it, so that is what I did. If I am going to write something, I want it to be the best possible work that I can manage at that moment in time. Here is chapter one of "Somebody Near Me." It's inspired by Mitski's amazing song "Nobody," which I highly recommend that everyone gives a listen to.

Space is empty. It is the eternal void that spans across the realms, connected only by the great Tree of Life and time itself. The distance is unmeasurable to mortals, but not to Loki. He is familiar with the concept of infinity, of nothingness and how space is not as empty as it may seem to the mortal mind. That is why, in quiet moments like these, he finds himself perched near one of the many windows aboard the Asgardian refugee ship, The Statesman, bound for Midgard simply taking in the view.

It was lonely in times like these, and Loki had grown tired of solitude years ago, but he found himself reluctant to interact with anybody aboard the ship besides Thor. However, Thor was increasingly busy tending to matters on the ship and serving as Asgard’s new king. So, Loki filled his time seeking out private spaces and losing himself in his thoughts. The cosmos served as a pleasing backdrop to the ever present silence that seemed to follow him. 

On the occasion that Loki grew bored with stargazing, he took to the balcony above The Statesman’s largest room where many of the Asgardian refugees had taken to gathering for leisurely and recreational purposes. The Statesman had a seemingly endless supply of resources stored in its bunkers, surely more than enough for the six-month long journey to Earth, but renewability and conservation seemed to be a great concern among the general populace. The remains of Asgard’s people were determined to survive, and Loki found great kinship in their endless perseverance. 

From his perch upon the balcony, Loki heard the sounds of the people, once his people, and contemplated whether or not he wanted to join them. Former agriculturists had taken to planting a community garden of sorts in the center of the Statesman's great room, and children frolicked and played in the corridors. Musicians played their somber, mourningful melodies and their sweet, hopeful ballads wherever there were people willing to listen. People smiled at one another and held each other when they cried. It was as lively as it ever was on Asgard, but Loki knew that the people still anguished for their losses more often than not. Surely Loki has known loss too, perhaps greater than most, but he did not seek the comfort of a fellow Asgardian out of fear of rejection. He was the trickster, false king, and savior all wrapped up into one; he was a being made up of contradictions and half-truths, and now more than ever he couldn’t help but ask himself, “what must they think of me now?” He didn’t dare to find out. 

Although Loki now served a glorious purpose to Asgard’s people as a royal adviser to King Thor, part of him couldn’t help but feel intimately isolated from the general populace. During his time spent as Odin, the people laughed and dined with him, as well as doting on his every need and want. It was a pleasurable and much simpler time, yes, but also a period of great anxiety and loneliness. Although many called him a silver-tongue, Loki never took great comfort in living a life fabricated of lies.He didn’t need to carry those feelings of anxiety and loneliness now, but in the hours between cherished moments spent in the presence of Thor, as he watches the remains of the people that once made up his kingdom, the feelings linger and fester like never before. He wants to let them out, but how? How when the walls of separation between himself and the world seem so unbreakable? How when he doesn’t even truly understand the reasons that he feels this way?

Thor, certainly, didn’t have any troubles with finding his place within New Asgard’s community. Loki watched as his brother, his beloved, bumbling, friendly Thor, charmingly and effortlessly navigated the halls of The Statesman, chatting amicably and greeting each face with the grace of a true king. 

Loki had searched within himself for any feelings of jealousy towards Thor and was surprised to find that he didn’t harbor any thoughts of that nature. Instead, he felt nothing but unwavering love and pride. Loki was behind his brother in this expedition, working as Thor’s closest and most trusted advisor. Thor sorted out every petty and necessary grievance placed before him, comforted his people, and planned for the future of the colony. Thor became the persevering ruler that New Asgard needed, and Loki was always there to help; after all, he always had more of an aptitude for political matters. Loki couldn’t help the small smirk that twisted his lips whenever he thought of how far he has come in the past decade: once Thor’s most malevolent adversary and now his most loyal friend. Loki definitely preferred performing the role of the latter; he received all of Thor’s attention with none of the negative consequences. 

Thor’s presence and attention were addicting to Loki, and even the sight of his brother’s smile left Loki feeling like he was drinking in pure sunlight. Thor was the sun and Loki was Icarus; he could never fly too close or else he might never feel the warmth of his brother’s love again. However, he knew that his addiction couldn’t be satisfied by simply being Thor’s advisor, friend, or brother. His heart could only be sated by being Thor’s one and only - the object of his complete and utter devotion. Thoughts like these were simply daydreams in Loki’s mind, transparent musings that he returned to in times of solitude but refused to acknowledge otherwise. Although he ached and pined for these feelings to be released, the walls that he had built up in his mind would never allow for him to confess to Thor the truth. Besides, even if he could say to Thor how he felt, how would he ever deal with the possibility that his feelings might be unrequited? Or, possibly worse, that Thor might feel the same way about Loki, thus complicating matters even further? No, it would be much easier in the long run to not dwell on these impossibilities and instead just remain as the observer: never to participate in his fantasies and content with only watching them replay in his mind. 

Loki sighed as he rested his arms on the railings of the balcony. He always came back to these thoughts, and they frustrated him to no end. It would suit him well to dismiss these impossible fantasies and accept them for what they are: hopeless fabrications of a time long gone. A future spent as the center of Thor’s world fell out of Loki’s reach long ago. He knew that he should feel content with what state his relationship with Thor rests in now, as it is perhaps in the best state it has ever been in since adolescence, but Loki has never been one to find solace in complacency.

The feeling of a warm, calloused hand against his neck threw Loki out of his reveries, and he blinked rapidly in surprise, turning to meet whoever had interrupted his contemplating.

Thor’s warm, smiling visage greeted him. “What’s got you so wrapped up in your imagination that you forgot about our meeting, dearest brother?” Thor spoke. 

Loki froze, suddenly feeling like a deer in the headlights at the sight of the subject of his fantasies. He coughed to cover his shock, but a twinge of embarrassment was evident in his reply: “it was nothing of concern. I apologize for my absence, but surely my presence was not necessary.”

Thor laughed softly, shook his head, and gestured for Loki to follow him. Loki dutifully followed as Thor led him down the steps and into the great room below. It was crowded and noisy, and Thor quickly gripped Loki’s cold hand to keep from losing him in the chaos. 

“I wish this damned ship had more space; the people grow restless and gather here day and night. They need something to entertain them, to give them a purpose,” Thor said once they reached the end of the crowd and entered a much quieter hallway. 

“Is that what you discussed at the meeting?” Loki asked, crossing his arms against his chest and hoping that Thor didn’t notice the slight blush that tinted his cheeks. Why did Thor have to be so comfortable with casual physical touch? 

“Aye, and your presence was dearly missed,” Thor responded cooly as the two continued to walk through the corridors of the Statesman towards Thor’s personal living quarters.

Loki smiled and preened at Thor’s compliment. “I should hope so,” he scoffed, “and where are you taking me now?” 

Thor quickened his pace, “I was hoping to show you the plans that I came up with at the meeting, come along,” he said, once again reaching for Loki’s wrist, which Loki reflexively moved to resist. 

“I am more than capable to follow you without being led along like some kind of dog!” Loki snapped. His mood shifted, and he suddenly felt as though Thor’s small acts of affection were nothing but labors of pity. Surely his brother had noticed how isolated he had become as of late, always wandering off to lonely corners to lose himself in his thoughts. Thor’s kind gestures were surely nothing but a manifestation of the sorrow he felt for him. Nonetheless, Loki regretted his outburst the second that the words left his lips. 

Thor looked down, his smile fading and rejection evident in his glossy blue eye. “I meant no such thing, and I apologize for offending you.” Thor was more than familiar with Loki’s untimely prickly dispositions, but the apology was nonetheless heartfelt. 

Loki hid his own feelings of rejection behind a mask of confidence and huffed audibly, gesturing with his delicate hand for the two of them to continue making their way to Thor’s quarters.

The rest of their walk continued in relative silence until they reached Thor’s cabin. Thor fumbled in his pockets for his personal set of keys and slipped a shiny golden key into the lock, opening the door with a small creak. They both stepped inside, and Thor gently shut the door behind them.

Loki quickly glanced around the room and noticed nothing unusual inside of his brother’s living quarters. After having spent many an evening in his brother’s lodgings gossiping over a glass of wine or reminiscing about their childhood (they had yet to discuss anything of more heavy subject matter, too afraid that unearthing the dark truths of their past would upset the fragile, unfamiliar bond they had forged with one another), Loki had grown familiar with Thor’s living arrangements. 

“Wait right here,” Thor smiled inconspicuously, “I’ll be right back.”

Before Loki could react, Thor left the room, but he didn’t have much time to wonder what Thor could possibly be hiding before Thor was back in his sights once again.

“You should know better than to try and keep secrets from me,” Loki smirked; his tone playful and a twinkle in his eye. 

“I think I’ve done a fine job of keeping this one from you, brother,” Thor proclaimed as he reached behind his back and revealed a familiar golden horned helmet. The object seemed light in his hands, and Thor tossed it to Loki quickly.

“Be careful with that, you brute! It’s practically an ancient relic at this point!” Loki fumed as he caught the surprisingly lightweight headpiece in his right hand. He rapped his knuckles upon the helmet’s hard plastic and looked to Thor with an exasperated expression. “Is this some sort of jest? I haven’t worn a helmet like this since,” he paused, taking a moment to collect himself before uttering the next few words, “the Chitauri incident in New York.”

Thor shook his head and smiled, seemingly nonplussed by Loki’s revelation. “From what I remember, you are a patron of the dramatic arts. I thought that perhaps we could use your flair for the dramatics and remind everyone of happier times; people seemed to love your little plays back on Asgard.”

Loki sighed loudly and draped his frame upon Thor’s black linen couch. “That is what your important meeting was about? Community theatre?” He rolled his eyes as Thor relaxed next to him.

“Well, if you put it that way, yes,” Thor exhaled, scooting closer to Loki and turning to face him. “Do you not like this idea?”

Loki tensed slightly at the nearness of his brother’s warmth but did not move away from it. “It’s not that I don’t like it per se, just that I think we all have better things to worry about at the moment.”

“Such as what?” Thor asked honestly, a small frown taking shape upon his previously cheerful face.

The weight of the words unsaid rested heavily on Loki’s shoulders. There were many, many things he was worried about, none of which he wanted to discuss with Thor anytime soon. A silly little play would serve only as a distraction from the multitude of issues they currently faced as a colony, brothers, and individuals. For Loki, the most pressing of these issues was the tesseract, from which even he could admit that he would like a distraction from. The longer that he was able to avoid having a conversation with Thor about that would mean the more time that Loki had in Thor’s good graces. So, with this thought in mind, Loki accepted Thor’s suggestion. 

If Thor wanted a show, then Loki would give him one.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave me a comment; they are my lifeblood. Also, if you are interested in helping me brainstorm ideas for this fic, please let me know! I work best when I have others around me to brainstorm with, but none of my friends are in the fandom :(


End file.
